Gray Line Wanderings Travel Blog

Only in India can a quick walk to the bank be interrupted by a scuffle with a petitioner, a negative aura reading, and a near death-by-rickshaw experience…

Notorious for its touts and scams, navigating your way through New Delhi is a learned art. Whether you’re walking to your favorite spot or exploring a new part of the city, the best way to avoid any unwarranted attention is to walk like you’ve had the direction in your mental-GPS since the day you were born… and when you walk past the same street again 10 minutes later, utterly lost, you act like you just wanted to check out the area.

It’s a confidence and an assertiveness that you’ve got a direction, and usually, with the walk, you can avoid some unnecessary ventures into tour shops and rickshaw rides without even breaking your smile.

Usually, I pride myself on my ability to stay out of unwanted situations when traveling, but today, the hawkers were coming on strong, and there was no amount of poise that could get me through unscathed.

At this point, I had been a solo traveler for approximately two hours. My friends took off in the morning and I was left behind in the hotel room with a head cold, an almost empty wallet, and a nearly unplanned itinerary. I took initiative and peeled myself out of bed for a quick jaunt to the bank, but as I was reminded, nothing comes so easily in New Delhi.

I pioneered my way into my alley and was immediately accosted by a woman collecting “signatures and no money”– as usual, “no money” actually meant “some money”– but I managed to decline as politely as possible and escape her sharp-nailed grip before getting seriously trapped into anything.

I had barely strided away when I received a complimentary-yet-unwelcome aura reading from a baba pacing beside me on the road. “Hello ma’am. I want to tell you… You have a good heart but a negative energy from my three very serious problems. Very very serious. Your life is terribly out of balance. I think you are a little insane.” …Thank you? I suppose I could have paid to learn that I am oversensitive and that I lack focus, but I actually already know that, and I really just need an ATM.

“Oh Wow. Thank you sir… maybe I come back later?” I said as I quickly changed to the other side of the road.

Listen guys… I’ve got a head cold and an attitude, do you think we could do this later?  I thought. Maybe they would have left me alone if they realized I had less than $8 in my possession.

Finally, as I rounded the corner to the bank, a bicycle rickshaw sharply cut left behind me. I jumped back to find my space obstructed by a mango stall. Luckily, I made it up on my toes, pinned against the steel table and barely avoided getting my feet crunched by the passenger cart of the rickshaw. I didn’t expect an apology, or even wait for some acknowledgement of what just happened. It happens at least thirty times on a good day.

Getting to the bank, the intention of the trip was nowhere near as significant as the trip to get there. When traveling, it always takes a while to find your feet and even longer to grow your teeth. There is a steep learning curve to knowing when to talk and when to walk, when to smile and when to scowl, when to be polite and when to argue.

After today, I suppose even walking like you know where you’re going isn’t always enough, but it’s still worth a shot.

Here are a few quick tips for avoiding touts when traveling:

1. Most important of all is walking with purpose!

2. Throw on sunglasses and look straight ahead in touristy areas. Pretend not to hear the “hellos” and “where are you froms” coming out of nearly every shop if you don’t have the time or interest in buying.

3. When confronted directly by someone, simply say a genuine “No, thank you” and keep walking. If you slow down, it becomes a lot more difficult to walk away without being rude. If they are persistent, it helps to have an excuse about why you’re in a hurry.

4. Ask for information from people with no vested interest. Don’t get directions from a rickshaw driver or shopping recommendations from a silk shop owner! Instead, ask at an upscale hotel, someone on their way to work, or a fellow shopper.

What’s your best trick or tip for avoiding touts when traveling? (Can’t see Facebook comments? Click here to view the full version of the Walking Like You Know Where You’re Going Blog Post)

You’ve spent months preparing for your holiday on the tropical sands of some idyllic place. Your expectations are as high as Cheech and Chong and Harold and Kumar combined, and you’ve even trimmed your chest hair to look good on the beach. As you drive to the airport clad in your knock-off Armani sunglasses, everything seems in place. But then life kicks in and things start to go horribly wrong.

Plane Delays

Your holiday disaster starts with news that a random volcano in some faraway land is spitting up ash balls the size of a small country. Apart from the odd daredevil, pilots like to see where they are going – and this can be difficult when the sky has become a giant urn. At this stage you are still excited, so you sink into an uncomfortable airport chair and read, while waiting for your delayed flight.

Rain

Having spent 48 hours with your carry-on luggage tied to your leg, you arrive at your holiday destination to the worst rainstorm in 4 centuries. You suddenly wish that you had spent your clothing budget on an umbrella, but all you have is an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt that starts to leak color as soon as the rain hits it. On the bright side, at least the rain conceals the tears that are already starting to stream down your cheeks.

Being Robbed

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, they do. While you are trying to flag down a taxi, you feel a tug on your arm. You snap around to see a random person running off with your luggage. You consider running after him, but instead, you simply wave good-bye to Levi, Hugo and Calvin. And the damn rain continues unabated.

Dodgy Police

You approach the front desk and tell the on-duty police-office that you are a victim – a victim of flight delays, bad weather and crime. The police officer laughs at your drenched appearance and jokes with his friends in his native tongue. He eventually asks you to fill out a crime-report affidavit, but you never hear from him again.

Food Poisoning

All this misfortune can create quite an appetite, so you decide to indulge in the offerings of a local street-food vendor. What you don’t realize is that the shop-owner hasn’t cleaned his cooking utensils since the founding of the OCD Awareness Movement back in 1962. You wolf down the meal and venture to your hotel for an afternoon nap. Sometime during this nap, you are woken by a twisting gut. You rush to the bathroom, where you spend the rest of your evening in kneeling devotion to the porcelain god.

After a holiday that made Dante’s Inferno seem like a Disney movie, you return home to share your stories with your friends. When retelling the travel tale, you somehow neglect to mention the horror, which has now been replaced by happy memories of beaches and boat trips.

I guess that’s the thing about traveling – no matter how bad the trip, it’s always better than staying home!

Bali’s beauty is as indisputable as the photography from the island suggests. But, before reaching the golden sands and rolling waves, you need to negotiate a little place called Ngurah Rai International Airport. You may believe in myths like international airport standards that protect visitors from hazards, but a visit to Bali will quickly dispel these misconceptions.

Entry Fee

Like all the great amusement parks of the world, Bali has an entrance fee. Some websites claim that Indonesian immigration distinguishes between a 7 day visa and a 30 day visa, but this inaccurate. A visa purchased upon arrival is valid for 30 days and will cost you US $25.    

Queues

As Indonesia’s third busiest airport, your arrival at Ngurah Rai will coincide with an immigration queue that extends to Australia (or somewhere close). You will have to join the back of this queue and wait approximately one hour, if you are lucky. While waiting in this queue you will be tortured with pictures of beaches, sunsets and happy people (not standing in long lines).

Drug Warnings

Unless you want to end up on a documentary series called Banged Up Abroad, it is not a good idea to bring illegal drugs into Bali. Under Indonesian law, drug trafficking carries a sentence of death, so rather leave your friend Mary-Jane at home.

Luggage Collection

As soon as you collect your luggage, you will be approached by someone offering to carry it for you. It is best to reject this offer, because nothing in Bali is done for free. When rejecting the offer for assistance, it helps to put on an aloof air to feign the pretense of an experienced traveler.

Taxis

Leaving the airport building doesn’t mean that you are free. You still need to negotiate with a taxi driver. It is important to visit the taxi office before negotiating with any of the drivers. When in the taxi office, take note of the display board that indicates reasonable prices. Armed with this information, you’ll be able to return to the lot to negotiate a decent fee with the taxi drivers.

Departure

Leaving Bali can be as harrowing as arriving, so it is important to be prepared for the worst. Always ensure that you arrive at the airport at least 2 hours before departure. Expect things to go wrong, and remain calm when the beach sand hits the fan.

Bali Exit Fee

I cannot stress enough how important it is to carry 150,000 Rupiahs with you to the airport. Indonesia is one of the few destinations in the world where you will be charged a departure fee. Do not rely on the ATM machines at the airport – they are notorious for swallowing credit cards and there is rarely any help available.

Departure Card

Do not lose your departure card. Common sense might deem this a superfluous statement, but it is essential in Bali. Losing your departure card often means that you will have to bribe the immigration official to get onto your flight. In most places, you would simply be given a new departure card. But remember, this is Bali!

Bali is an island seemingly founded on the notion that a first-quoted price should never be accepted. This rule of obligatory negotiation is most applicable when it comes to transportation. The Bali transport industry is saturated with drivers desperate to make a quick buck out of unsuspecting tourists. Being taken for a ride in Bali definitely has a double meaning, but here are some hints to avoid being taken advantage of.

Taxis

After collecting your luggage, go outside and turn toward the taxi office. Don’t stop to talk to anyone, because you could end up agreeing to things that you don’t want. In the taxi office, you will see a large display that quotes the prices for your different taxi options. You can then choose to book a vehicle from within the taxi office or leave and negotiate with a driver in the lot. Never pay more than the price displayed in the taxi office. After leaving the airport, you will no longer have the benefit of a price guideline. From this point on, the onus is on you to negotiate with taxi drivers. Every item on your itinerary should set aside some time for negotiation, because it is inevitable in Bali.

Scooter Lifts

Kuta can become very crowded and driving in a car is a terrible idea. Scooters whiz in and out of traffic and are a much better option if you want to travel over shorter distances. Simply wave down a local on a scooter and he/she will give you a ride to your desired destination. The cost of such a ride is normally only a few thousand Rupiahs and it definitely beats sitting in traffic for hours on end.

Scooter Rental

Renting a scooter in Bali is dirt cheap and you can get an even better deal if you rent one for an extended period of a week or longer. Almost every hotel in Bali offers the option of renting a scooter, but don’t rush into accepting this service. First venture onto the street and negotiate with the “scooter guys” to gauge what constitutes a decent price. After speaking to about three different individuals, you’ll be in a much better position to negotiate with the hotel staff. It is not a good idea to rent a scooter from someone on the street, because there is a risk of being scammed. Many scooter drivers will accuse you of scratching the bike when you return it. This can lead to additional charges for damage caused.

Boats

Island hopping around the Indonesian archipelago is very easy to do. The local boats consistently travel to the neighboring islands and they don’t mind a foreign stowaway hitching along for a ride. You will have to negotiate a price with the owner of the boat, but don’t expect to pay too much. Budget surfers often use this option, but it certainly isn’t for everyone. If you are a little apprehensive, there are always tour companies that offer boat trips to most of the islands close to Bali.

I was sitting at home, eating a salami sandwich and minding my own business, when an Indiana Jones rerun possessed my TV and spat out clichéd adventure in droves. In spite of a plot that resembled a tuna fishing net, I watched the entire film until its heart-wrenching climax.

As the credits rolled on, I began to muse on the importance of Indiana Jones to traveling destinations. I quickly decided that every city, island, state and rock in the ocean needed an Indiana to protect it from the psychos, who believe that it is sanitary to tear out organs without surgical gloves. I then perused the web in search of the online equivalent of Indiana Jones.  I imagined finding a haggard blogger dedicated to truth and khakis, but my frantic clicking could not find a single person who brought these ingredients together in a day-saving package.

It was then–in a moment of cringe-worthy arrogance–that I took it upon myself to be the travel blogging Indiana Jones. Driven by the belief that the modern man could look good in colonial garb, I grabbed my fedora, snapped a few head shots and registered my WordPress blog–titled Indiana Jones and the Doomed Traveler.

I set out an elaborate plan to expose the insidious trickery of immigration officials, corrupt cops and thieving children. My blog would become the traveler’s survival handbook and it would save scores of people from taxi kidnappings, armed madmen and dodgy chicken from street vendors – it was foolproof.

Later that day, I walked outside to breathe in the fresh air of heroic accomplishment. As I walked onto the street, I felt a quick tug on my earlobe and watched as a child on a bicycle drove into the sunset with my iPod…

I stood, inanimate, and realized that I was no Indiana Jones. I was simply a traveler, who often saw things go wrong.

The street corners of South East Asian towns are inundated with smiling locals that seem to offer friendship. But behind these grins we often find deceptive ulterior motives, bent on extracting as much money out of tourists as possible. Over time, these motives have evolved into shrewd scams that outsmart even well-traveled vacationers. This does not imply that you should stay in your hotel for the entire duration of your vacation – it just means that you need to know when to walk away.

Money exchange: The infamous money exchange scam is common throughout South East Asia. Walking around Bali, you will see a wide variety of vendors advertising exchange rates that are much higher than what any bank would offer. The catch is that these rates do not mention the commission that is charged per transaction – an amount that renders any exchange rate gain irrelevant. If you are fortunate enough to find a vendor that doesn’t charge a commission, then his nimble fingers will undoubtedly rip you off. Indonesian exchange office employees have garnered a notorious reputation for miscounting money or substituting smaller denominations for higher ones. Be sure to check out how similar the 10 000 and 100 000 Rupiah bills look before going to Indonesia.

Avoiding this Scam: This Indonesian scam is most easily avoided by using your credit card at an ATM. MasterCard, Visa and American Express can be used in almost any country.

Scooter Rental: Renting a scooter in South East Asia is generally cheap, but it comes with some very risky terms and conditions. If you get into an accident, be prepared to pay an exorbitant fee for repairs. Even if you avoid a crash on the busy roads, the scooter guy might accuse you of scratching the bike. He will then demand extra money for the damages, most often resulting in a harsh exchange of words. Arguing with a scooter guy generally leads nowhere and simply worsens the hostility of the situation.

Avoiding this Scam: By hiring a scooter through your hotel, you can avoid the risk of being cheated by an unscrupulous person on the street. The hotel offers a form protection that is absent when you are negotiating alone.

Ping-Pong Show Scam: This Thai scam normally starts on the streets of Bangkok or Phuket with a dodgy local offering a free ping-pong show. If you agree, you will be taken into a shady alley and guided to a small hole in the wall, where you will be offered a menu and told that you have to buy a drink. Upon perusing the drinks prices, you will realize that you were duped. $30 dollars for a glass of house wine might seem reasonable at a high end hotel, but in a dingy Thai bar – not so much.

Avoiding this Scam: You have two options in this case: walk out or negotiate. If you stand up and attempt to walk out, you will be stopped at the door and the negotiation will commence. If you can’t negotiate a decent price, then it’s best to skip the ping-pong show and find something else to do.