Gray Line Wanderings Travel Blog

Defame the Thai King at your peril

As if you needed further proof that the system of laws you enjoy in your home country doesn’t follow you on your jaunts across the globe, we provide this most recent example of astonishingly harsh punishment of a foreigner living in a fairly well-traveled country:

According to reports, American citizen Joe Gordon is facing a massive 15-year jail term in Thailand, accused of the heinous crime of (wait for it …) defaming Thailand’s royal family.

Seems the 55-year-old, Thai-born Gordon translated excerpts of an unflattering biography of Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej and posted it on the Internet. Unfortunately for Gordon, Thailand has perhaps the world’s strictest “lese-majesty” laws, which have been used to jail political opponents for years. Human rights advocates have protested them many times over.

That said, Gordon has been denied bail, and will reportedly plead guilty to the charges, in the hopes of winning a royal pardon.

“I want the American government to help me, because this is about freedom of expression,” London’s Daily Mail reported Gordon as saying.

Unfortunately, that particular freedom evaporated the minute Gordon stepped through Thai customs.

It's illegal in Mexico for foreigners to take part in protests.

Let this be an obvious lesson to world travelers: Know the laws of the counties in which you are a guest, and don’t push the limits. Avoid conflicts while a guest in another country. Dodge situations where legality is even minimally questionable.

Perhaps the best tip we can give is to familiarize yourself with the unique legal restrictions of every country you plan to visit. The U.S. State Department provides an excellent legal and advisory synopsis of every recognized country in the world, which you can find HERE.

Bali is an island seemingly founded on the notion that a first-quoted price should never be accepted. This rule of obligatory negotiation is most applicable when it comes to transportation. The Bali transport industry is saturated with drivers desperate to make a quick buck out of unsuspecting tourists. Being taken for a ride in Bali definitely has a double meaning, but here are some hints to avoid being taken advantage of.

Taxis

After collecting your luggage, go outside and turn toward the taxi office. Don’t stop to talk to anyone, because you could end up agreeing to things that you don’t want. In the taxi office, you will see a large display that quotes the prices for your different taxi options. You can then choose to book a vehicle from within the taxi office or leave and negotiate with a driver in the lot. Never pay more than the price displayed in the taxi office. After leaving the airport, you will no longer have the benefit of a price guideline. From this point on, the onus is on you to negotiate with taxi drivers. Every item on your itinerary should set aside some time for negotiation, because it is inevitable in Bali.

Scooter Lifts

Kuta can become very crowded and driving in a car is a terrible idea. Scooters whiz in and out of traffic and are a much better option if you want to travel over shorter distances. Simply wave down a local on a scooter and he/she will give you a ride to your desired destination. The cost of such a ride is normally only a few thousand Rupiahs and it definitely beats sitting in traffic for hours on end.

Scooter Rental

Renting a scooter in Bali is dirt cheap and you can get an even better deal if you rent one for an extended period of a week or longer. Almost every hotel in Bali offers the option of renting a scooter, but don’t rush into accepting this service. First venture onto the street and negotiate with the “scooter guys” to gauge what constitutes a decent price. After speaking to about three different individuals, you’ll be in a much better position to negotiate with the hotel staff. It is not a good idea to rent a scooter from someone on the street, because there is a risk of being scammed. Many scooter drivers will accuse you of scratching the bike when you return it. This can lead to additional charges for damage caused.

Boats

Island hopping around the Indonesian archipelago is very easy to do. The local boats consistently travel to the neighboring islands and they don’t mind a foreign stowaway hitching along for a ride. You will have to negotiate a price with the owner of the boat, but don’t expect to pay too much. Budget surfers often use this option, but it certainly isn’t for everyone. If you are a little apprehensive, there are always tour companies that offer boat trips to most of the islands close to Bali.

I was sitting at home, eating a salami sandwich and minding my own business, when an Indiana Jones rerun possessed my TV and spat out clichéd adventure in droves. In spite of a plot that resembled a tuna fishing net, I watched the entire film until its heart-wrenching climax.

As the credits rolled on, I began to muse on the importance of Indiana Jones to traveling destinations. I quickly decided that every city, island, state and rock in the ocean needed an Indiana to protect it from the psychos, who believe that it is sanitary to tear out organs without surgical gloves. I then perused the web in search of the online equivalent of Indiana Jones.  I imagined finding a haggard blogger dedicated to truth and khakis, but my frantic clicking could not find a single person who brought these ingredients together in a day-saving package.

It was then–in a moment of cringe-worthy arrogance–that I took it upon myself to be the travel blogging Indiana Jones. Driven by the belief that the modern man could look good in colonial garb, I grabbed my fedora, snapped a few head shots and registered my WordPress blog–titled Indiana Jones and the Doomed Traveler.

I set out an elaborate plan to expose the insidious trickery of immigration officials, corrupt cops and thieving children. My blog would become the traveler’s survival handbook and it would save scores of people from taxi kidnappings, armed madmen and dodgy chicken from street vendors – it was foolproof.

Later that day, I walked outside to breathe in the fresh air of heroic accomplishment. As I walked onto the street, I felt a quick tug on my earlobe and watched as a child on a bicycle drove into the sunset with my iPod…

I stood, inanimate, and realized that I was no Indiana Jones. I was simply a traveler, who often saw things go wrong.

The street corners of South East Asian towns are inundated with smiling locals that seem to offer friendship. But behind these grins we often find deceptive ulterior motives, bent on extracting as much money out of tourists as possible. Over time, these motives have evolved into shrewd scams that outsmart even well-traveled vacationers. This does not imply that you should stay in your hotel for the entire duration of your vacation – it just means that you need to know when to walk away.

Money exchange: The infamous money exchange scam is common throughout South East Asia. Walking around Bali, you will see a wide variety of vendors advertising exchange rates that are much higher than what any bank would offer. The catch is that these rates do not mention the commission that is charged per transaction – an amount that renders any exchange rate gain irrelevant. If you are fortunate enough to find a vendor that doesn’t charge a commission, then his nimble fingers will undoubtedly rip you off. Indonesian exchange office employees have garnered a notorious reputation for miscounting money or substituting smaller denominations for higher ones. Be sure to check out how similar the 10 000 and 100 000 Rupiah bills look before going to Indonesia.

Avoiding this Scam: This Indonesian scam is most easily avoided by using your credit card at an ATM. MasterCard, Visa and American Express can be used in almost any country.

Scooter Rental: Renting a scooter in South East Asia is generally cheap, but it comes with some very risky terms and conditions. If you get into an accident, be prepared to pay an exorbitant fee for repairs. Even if you avoid a crash on the busy roads, the scooter guy might accuse you of scratching the bike. He will then demand extra money for the damages, most often resulting in a harsh exchange of words. Arguing with a scooter guy generally leads nowhere and simply worsens the hostility of the situation.

Avoiding this Scam: By hiring a scooter through your hotel, you can avoid the risk of being cheated by an unscrupulous person on the street. The hotel offers a form protection that is absent when you are negotiating alone.

Ping-Pong Show Scam: This Thai scam normally starts on the streets of Bangkok or Phuket with a dodgy local offering a free ping-pong show. If you agree, you will be taken into a shady alley and guided to a small hole in the wall, where you will be offered a menu and told that you have to buy a drink. Upon perusing the drinks prices, you will realize that you were duped. $30 dollars for a glass of house wine might seem reasonable at a high end hotel, but in a dingy Thai bar – not so much.

Avoiding this Scam: You have two options in this case: walk out or negotiate. If you stand up and attempt to walk out, you will be stopped at the door and the negotiation will commence. If you can’t negotiate a decent price, then it’s best to skip the ping-pong show and find something else to do.